If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.
If you don't you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying.
If you don't, you are good for nothing.
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring.
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.
If you don't, you are a dull boy.
If you are jealous, she says it's bad.
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her.
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her.
If you don't, she thinks you didn't like her.
If you are a minute late, she complains its hard to wait.
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way.
If you visit another man, you are not putting in "quality time".
If she is visited by another man, "oh it's natural, we are girls."
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold.
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage.
If fail to help her crossing street, you lack ethics.
If you do, she thinks its just one of men's tactics for seduction.
If you stare at another woman, she says that you are flirting.
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring.
If you talk, she wants you to listen.
If you listen, she wants you to talk.
